I first trod this hallowed, squirrel-occupied ground at the tail end of the summer of 2020 (no pun intended) as an anxious and overwhelmed first-year. The weather was hot, and the air was ripe with the threat of COVID. The very first English class I took at the College of Wooster was called “Is a Picture Worth a Thousand Words?” Although it was a 200-level class that felt very challenging to me at the time, it was one of the most rewarding classes I have ever taken. It changed my whole approach when it came to combining creativity with analytical writing and made me a much more confident writer, as well as a more confident person.

Fast forward two years. This semester, for me, has been another one that has changed my whole outlook when it comes to being an English major, and a college student in general. Before I returned to college to embark on the arduous journey that is my junior year, I lived a relatively isolated existence. This all changed when I moved into my first single room on campus. I know what you’re thinking—how can you become less isolated if you’re living in a single room? I have a simple answer: living alone has made me more comfortable with and confident in myself. This is the semester where I finally grew brave enough to venture out into the world after two years of anxiety holding me back. I’ve made really awesome friends (some of whom are sitting by me as I type this) and had really great experiences. Oh, and not to mention, I’ve become a more fearless writer. I would have never written a blog post like this before this year, where I open up about myself and what’s affected my writing. I liked to keep my feelings closed off, unless I could turn them into some sort of cleverly crafted, oblique metaphor. Now, I’m learning to be open, and I hope that that growing willingness to incorporate my personality and feelings into my work will come through in my final essay.

There’s something ever-so-isolating about being an English major.

Or maybe it’s just going to a liberal arts school where not everyone I pass by is pre-med or pre-law. My closest friends all have different majors – which probably says something great about our ability to branch out – but still leaves me somewhat in the dark for my own progress. I feel like papers for English classes are substantially more challenging than any other paper I have even attempted to write.

In a class last semester, I handed in what I thought was one of my worst pieces of writing and I ended up with an actual 100% on it. That doesn’t even seem fathomable. The professor literally left no comments. Either the professor was just done from the start, or the English major is paying off.

I also am the resident editor and proofreader for all my friends because I have a knack for it. I’ve started to get so good at it that I need specifics for what I’m supposed to be looking for or I’ll mark it up to all hell. I feel really bad about this usually – especially on the history papers – which aren’t so much about style as they are about substance and validity. I tried to scale back as I didn’t want anyone to feel like I was telling them their writing was the worst, but I would constantly remind myself: “This is how I’d want someone to help me proofread”.

There are perks of the English major. Obviously, the pros outweigh the cons, but believe me there have been times I’ve found myself in a moral dilemma. The English major is a multi-faceted tool, the Swiss army knife of majors. Sometimes this diversity as a major creates some confusion for my little humanities brain – especially when faced with the ever-impending doom of graduate school and internships to prepare me for graduate school.

What can you even do with an English major?

Is “greeting card writer” seriously a job opportunity that APEX is considering livable for an English major? I’m starting to think people don’t know what an English major is. Do I know what an English major is?

One of the biggest things that irked me when I was thinking about my future as an English major with a very special interest in archival studies and library studies was the jobs that graduated English majors go on to do after Wooster. Almost all of the jobs listed were with medical or technology companies, something that I most certainly have no interest in doing. I would like to do something creative or at least interact with media in my day-to-day. I don’t want to sit in an office listening to my 2029 Spotify Wrapped while I write a new LinkedIn post for all of my work colleagues to know I just got a promotion from medicine label writer to medicine ingredients writer.

Obviously, this isn’t going to happen. But without any further research, this is how the English major can look. It is obvious that other people also don’t feel the need to put in the work to understand it also.

Something that has been a growing up point for me this semester is learning how flexible this major is. I’ve learned to embrace it with pride and excitement about my future in doing something I love.

At the begininng of college, one of the most exciting things was the ability to have a “grown-up” email signature, and I think how they’ve evolved during my time here are rather telling about my experience.

It started like this: as neutral and dorky as a freshman email signature can get. I hadn’t really connected that if I was emailing someone, they wouldn’t need my email address written down below my name. I was stoked to be in college and felt weirdly in control and powerful.

At least this next one means I was confident that I’d graduate on time?

Chaotic evil. I blocked this era out and will not (should not) look back. I shudder at the sight. It always started up emails that began with “Dear Professor… help/I apologize.” F tier.

Ohhh hello little major removal! C tier. So doubtful, so meek. So necessary. <3

We digress from the sophmore year horror! Oh to be an English major. Terrifying yet lovely acceptance into my group of people. I remember going from classes only in Williams to classes only in Kauke. I remember going into Old Main for the first time and being flabbergasted by the mood change. To my humanities people, I love you.

I will be doing a close reading of my email signature, and I will be saying my bolded name and pronouns mean I’ve gained a whole lot of confidence and self assurance.

Yeehaw. The time has come. I have fully hatched. Watch out world! Or rather I will say “excuse me” softly because I’m still navigating the complexities of academia and continue grapple with the American educational system. Maybe I have been taught to watch out for you.

If there’s anything this school has taught me, it’s that I’m the only person who can help myself. There’s countless amazing people that can guide me the best they can, but I am ultimately in control of my success and performance.

Even more groundbreaking was what this semester has proven, something I never wanted to imagine. Being in an English major, something I absolutely love, is not always fun. It’s unrealistic for me to always expect poetry rainbows and that I’d only analyze the literature I love. I expected my shift from STEM to Humanities to solve all of my issues, and that expecation was absurd.

We spend so much time enveloped in academia- worrying and studying and writing and emailing and analyzing and scheduling- that we forget we’re people outside of this. “Student” is a small part of who I am, and I still struggle to understand how all of our value is somehow decided by an A or F. It’s easy to feel helpless and small in college, and I do, but knowing that I’m more than a student keeps me going.