(Creative Approach)

  I could stare at numbers all day.

Their tiny structure ornately fills out the corner of every other page, except the title page, where it rests at the bottom. Unquestionably, my adolescent mind becomes synonymous with numbers. When my mother turned each page, I inherently understood I was the kind of person who didn’t want to take up space or cover the whole page in gaudy brush strokes. However, as with the nature of time, my eyes lingered on the stories whose words spoke louder than the images themselves. The writing was no longer scribbles on a page and rushed pen strokes: it was the unleashing of inner provocations, the words of the people, the passion for processing, the method of preserving a culture, and the study your parents believe is a dying profession. Where meaning finds itself in the spacing between the lines and through the curved paths of every brain.  

 For a long time, It felt as if everyone looked at my loose threads, mangled and uneven, stepping on the longest strands, watching bits of my being unravel.

My insides are on display for all to see, while others were protected by plastic encasings, free from Criticism, seemingly liberated. While I had become a quivering flame the world steadily blew on, I eventually found solace through my writing. It was peace of mind for all the thoughts to immerse themselves into a page. The stress became poems, and my social anxiety became free verses unshackling my irrational worries. I latch onto words because they are as tangible as emotion can be. Literature has no confinements in content, and the requirements to fit into the structure are limited. I pursue Literature because it is the structure of ever-evolving people like me representing the fractals of the American mosaic. 

My friendship with Reading did not have a notable start. It snuck up on me, worming its way into my life and becoming a part of me before I knew what was happening. By the time I was halfway through middle school, I was addicted, spending nights and summers tearing through book after book. My parents joked I had read half the books in our little hometown library while I checked out stack after stack. As I got older and life and school got more difficult, I felt myself drifting away from my little friend. I was off exploring other ideas, swapping letters and stories for numbers and facts. I began spending time with new ideas, leaving my little friend behind, our time together slipping away to make room for others. However, Reading never grew jealous nor tired, welcoming me back time and time again. I often found solace in their embrace, especially in hard times, spending evenings exploring new worlds within the pages of countless novels. It was as I grew that I learned the different sides of my childhood friend, Reading, discovering the complexities that make them up and their versatility. These ideas intrigued me, and I wished to learn more. My future will take me in many different directions, but I know that my relationship with Reading will help me in any situation, providing a solid foundation for all my future endeavors.

Literature is about us, humans, and the complexities of our life. However within this context, my definition of the classification has changed over time. At first, my brain goes to old libraries, classic novels, and well-known names like Shakespeare and Austen. I feel like what I was taught when I was younger—or what I myself assumed—was that literature was complex, full of meaning, and scholarly. Hamlet is literature. Sherlock Holmes is literature, but the Magic Tree House was not. However, as I got through more literature classes, I realized there don’t seem to be such clear classifications. A literary work doesn’t need to be old, well studied, or widely accepted as scholarly to be literature. Even the most basic stories—like the fairy tales we are reading in class —can contain so much more than the plot, revealing countless insights about us. Defining literature is not as important to me now, but instead, trying to get the most out of everything I read, whether it’s considered “literature” or not by others.

As a child, I could often be found spending my time doing two things: digging for bugs in the garden or reading a book. Being relatively introverted, I enjoyed occupying myself with activities that allowed me to be in my own little world. As I have grown, this has remained the same. While I cannot say I enjoy digging for bugs as much as I once did, reading books and being outside have remained two of my favorite pastimes. 

Throughout my life, I have flip flopped between what I want to do. Teacher, journalist, veterinarian, audiologist; I have spent many years indecisive. Nothing felt truly right. I desired an amalgamation of my two loves, but how could I combine digging for bugs and reading? For a while, I denied these passions. In a world that is dying, why would I study something so painful? I tried to focus on other things, and ignore my desire to go back to what made me happiest. But, as many know, you can only do this for so long. 

The summer leading to my sophomore year, I had a crisis. I did not like what I was studying, and I was setting myself up to be in a career I would not enjoy. I completely changed my set course, and switched into the field I am in now. A true incorporation of my childhood passions and comfort, I have found what I want to do.