Written words are safe bubbles for scared children like I always was.

Especially since there are few escapes for frightened people other than stories. I have been one of them. To us, opening a book has the calculated instability of the ocean’s tide. A sisterly instability, not one filled with harmful chaos. They are similar to the tide in their power- books swell slowly. They will begin and end.

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For a person who has never been sure of anything (ever), it’s helpful to know at least this. If you had asked what I wanted to be when I grow up, at age 5 I would’ve said I am going to be a firefighter. At 7 I would definitely be a chef, at 10 obviously a zoologist, at 15 of course a marine biologist, at 19 probably a surgeon. Nothing stayed the same throughout all these years, but if you asked me what I loved I always had the same answer- to create and observe.

Despite many changes in my life plans, it took me a while to digest that I wanted to help, and I wanted to give. I wanted to listen. To squeeze these desires together, I knew that nothing is more human than storytelling. It nurtures what our souls need. To sew together words, and in my case, pray that someone might feel less alone from seeing them.

You gain power on a page. You are heard without shouting. You are understood without explaining.

As a little kid, my parents used to read to me at bedtime every night. I would listen with eager ears as they regaled me with tales of Sam I Am’s enthusiasm for oddly colored foodstuffs and the Goodnight Moon bunny’s adorable bedtime rituals. I memorized every part of the books I was read and would recite them aloud over and over again.

Fast forward a couple of years, and my young imagination was dancing with so many ideas that I just had to write them down. My handwriting was barely legible chicken-scratch so I enlisted the help of my mom, who has beautiful penmanship, and I would dictate to her the contents of my mind. Owing to my obsession with collecting discarded found objects, I built a universe around an anthropomorphic string named Talula that eventually stretched over five very short books.

Next, I discovered poetry. My mom would take me to poetry readings hosted by her many interesting friends and they took me in and mentored me as I tried to write poems for myself. Occasionally, I would read them myself in front of crowded rooms of adults.

I would write as much as I could, about the real and the imaginary and sometimes both blended in very interesting ways. A lot of what ended up on paper was inspired by situations I found myself in. I was ambitious enough to start writing whole books, but none ever got beyond four or five chapters. Most died after one page and were buried in the back of my mind somewhere hidden.

Nowadays, I am trying to master being brief. Gone is the ambition of writing a novel; now is the time for poems and short stories.  

I collect books as a hobby. When I read a book, it becomes a part of me. And when something is a part of me, it should become just as much a part of my space. So, I collect books and store them like display trophies. Then, I can exhume a conversation out of those books later, mining them for conversation, bringing the book to life once again through a new social dimension.

I listen to video essays for fun. I know I sound like a pretentious intellectual for saying it, but I need to hear someone else’s thoughts or I will be lost in my own.

There are four Jane Austen books on my bookshelf. They are Emma, Mansfield Park, Persuasion, and the famous Pride & Prejudice.

I always read the book before the movie. I won’t understand what’s going on otherwise. It’s the reason I still haven’t seen the Lord of the Rings, as essential as it is for someone of my interests.

Science Fiction and fantasy really only work when read in a book. There is always the potential for infinite context for any conflict. Like a statistical average, the larger the sample, the more precise. A film is too short and condensed to fit the background needed for another complete world.

My favorite word is discourse and I work it into everyday conversation. Language unlocks our capacity to think. New words package new thoughts, and the word ‘discourse’ unlocks an entirely new register.

There is a bolster on my bed. I use it to read, both for school and for pleasure.

I subscribed to the Fantasy & Science Fiction Magazine. The classic one. I don’t read all the stories, but when I do, I am blown away by the creativity.

I love D&D more than life itself. I like to write. I like to make characters. I like to make it social. Name a better activity for mashing those appeals.