As soon as the ogre queen decided,
that she had been quite misguided,
she no longer desiring a child for dinner,
as it would do nothing for her figure.
Because no one ever had a happy ending,
if they looked so very offending.
And the ogre knew that as she was,
she bore the close resemblance of a nightmarish Santa Clause.
But so pretty was her daughter-in-law,
(thin, white, and not a single outside flaw),
and how happy her ending seemed to be,
so the ogre went for advice on how to gain this reality
At first the princess was terribly frightened,
but it grew worse once she was enlightened.
“But you’re ugly and fat and mean.
Don’t ruin the story,” she said to me.
“Eat my children, go ahead,
And hopefully next you will drop dead.
You are nothing like the ideal lady,
so why should your ending be anything less than shady?”
Now it was here that the ogre got angry,
and when that happens the ogre gets hangry.
So she told the princess to set up the pot,
and would pretend it was the children she sought.
She would play the role of the bad guy,
and hopefully the princess would not see her sly.
So while the chefs prepared her feast,
she kept the floor beside the pot greased.
Just as the children were brought forth,
the king was arriving from the north.
But the princess saw the ogre was standing too distant,
and was worried that he would notice something inconsistent.
As she stepped forth to push her closer,
the princess slipped on the grease and fell over.
Straight into the boiling pot she went,
with ow, ow, ows that spoke of torment.
Years later I met the ogre and asked,
“Just what had happened after his princess had passed?”
She told me she had gotten her happily ever ending,
when she found out that personality, not looks, were worth defending.
And the king, she said, had never remarried,
apparently the princess had made him quite wearied.
She supposedly had been a bitch in a cloak,
and maybe, just maybe, thats why in her story she never spoke.
(wanted to explore how the ideal woman is portrayed in princess fairytales and the question of why women in princess fairy tales are pitted against each other (Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, The Little Mermaid, etc..)
Dylan, this was so cool! I couldn’t help but laugh at “She supposedly had been a bitch in a cloak.” I love the whimsical style of your poem. My guess is you were going for Roald Dahl, like his “The Three Little Pigs”? You did an excellent job at following the rhyme scheme in his work, and I definitely got the same general feel of sly humor and the subversion of expectations that I got from his works with Little Red Riding Hood as a vengeful sharpshooter. I love your tie-in of gender studies with the “ideal woman portrayed in princess fairytales.” I feel like a big thing we discussed with gender studies, and with queer studies as well, is the performance of femininity and how fairy tales deal with women that don’t fit into this perfect femininity, like Ursula from the Little Mermaid. They’re seemingly always pitted against the perfect dainty princess to make some sort of statement that this ideal femininity is under attack and must be protected. This is really great work and I had a fun time reading it and guessing where you were going next!
Dylan, I thought this was brilliant!! I loved your take on what seemed like Roald Dahl inspired writing, as well as the artwork (did you do it yourself?). The piece flowed well, kept me engaged, and was clever throughout! Roald Dahl used to be one of my favorite writers as a child, so I was so excited when reading your piece to see how you made it your own. I found your final line “and maybe, just maybe, thats why in her story she never spoke” so clever, as it not only wrapped up your story well but tied in the discussions we had in class about Sleeping Beauty as well. Amazing job!!
You’ve dragged in quite a few Fairy Tale themes. You create this problematic image of an ‘ideal woman,’ but then you desexualize it by turning the bodily desire into an appetite.
Also, a very disturbing story. Princess straight up dies, and the only justice we get is a divorce. I really want this piece expanded.