The air in the cottage bloomed with the floral smell of cleanliness that in recent years had become unfamiliar. My housemates and I had just arrived home after another day of no sunlight, spent toiling away down in the mines.
Grumpy, arguably the skeptic among us, had a look of malice in his eyes. “Somebody broke into our house!”
While the others paced frantically around, surveying the newly polished wooden floors and dust-free countertops, looking for empty spaces where treasured objects used to be, I wondered how guilty a burglar must feel in order to feel the need to clean a house after breaking into it.
“Everyone! Come quick! Look!” My inner monologue was interrupted by Doc’s commanding tone, reduced to a whisper. Doc, with his upright rigid posture and eyes that peered right through you like the sun through a window, thought of himself as our leader. It made sense that he was the first one to find the girl.
There she was, bereft of consciousness, sprawled out across a bed much too small for her, arms and legs hanging haphazardly over the sides. Her skin was porcelain, her hair the hue of the coal we spent our long days searching for. I knew before she spoke a word to me that I had found the woman of my dreams.
Later, she introduced herself to us as Snow White in her tranquil voice that could only be compared to the coo of a dove in its softness. As we all sat around the kitchen table, she stood at the stove and made us a delicious soup for dinner. Between chopping the garden vegetables and stirring the broth, she regaled us with tales of growing up as a princess. In my mind, this was the only past that could befit her radiant beauty.
That night, as we all sat and ate, I decided that this woman was my future. We would move into our own cottage, where she would make her delicious soups for me alone, and every night, I could hold her milk-white body as she drifted off to sleep.
I am fascinated by the way women’s beauty is portrayed in fairy tales. Women are constantly objectified in an unsettling way, and this story was inspired by that.
Ursula, this is brilliant! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a story told from the perspective of one of the seven dwarves. In fact, I don’t know of any stories told from the perspective of any Disney Princess companion; while there are some that focus on the princess’s love interest, the comedic side-kicks are more often than not left out of the narrative entirely. I knew as soon as I got to the description of Snow White’s “porcelain” skin that you were emulating Sleeping Beauty and the Airplane. You did so really well, because I don’t know if I could’ve gotten through writing about holding anyone’s “milk-white body” without shuddering. You do an excellent job paralleling Marquez’s usage of object and animal metaphors to describe/objectify the woman (coo of a dove, hair like coal, milky white skin, etc.) I like the several references to the narrator knowing Snow White was the one immediately; it definitely reflects Marquez, who seems to have been inspired by Perrault as well (I think that was the one in which the prince was “on fire” with love before he’d even seen Sleeping Beauty?). I like the way you took a gender studies critical lens and created exactly the kind of thing that gender studies theorists would study: the ways that men write women in literature. Great job!
Ursula, I thought this was such a creative and well-worded piece. Your use of descriptive language created a very vivid story, and your inspiration shone through in your characterization of the Dwarf. As Emily mentioned, your use of the perspective of one of the seven dwarves was unique and added to the overall strength of your story. I really enjoyed this creative take on Snow White! You portrayed the objectification you mentioned in such a creepy way that got your point across so well! As Emily also mentioned, it was hard not to shudder at some of your descriptions, which means a job well done! To be able to take such a perspective and convey it so well through writing was very impressive, great job!!
I’m thinking, this is really cool. I want more. I wish we had some space to really go somewhere with this story. Which dwarf is this? How does he express his love? What moments in classic tellings of the story are given new context by the facts laid out here? How does this affect the relationship between dwarves?
You could also comment on the lines between sexlessness and asexuality. What is the difference between a character born without sexual desires versus a character whose sexuality has been erased?
I have some constructive criticism though.
Your descriptions are solid, though they can be cliched. “Skin was porcelain” is not the most original, though it is very vivid. You’re also very good at including exposition, though it might help to be more selective with what information you slip in. Do we need to know that the dwarves mine coal, or that Grumpy is “arguably a skeptic?”
I enjoyed reading this! It’s accomplished the most difficult task of any piece and got me thinking deeper.