A young princess lost hold of her ball,
This is really no joke at all,
It fell down deep into a well,
Eternal damnation, in darkness it would dwell.
When at once appeared a slimy thing,
Who hopped on top of that there well,
Told the princess he’d fetch her ball for a “ring”,
The princess screamed out: “that’d be swell!”
She watched as he jumped down that well,
Green and slimy was his coat,
He jumped into the darkness and deeper he fell,
Splashing around in the watery moat.
The frog jumped out with her golden prize,
The princess squealed with glee,
With one quick grab she ran off, which was unwise,
As the frog yelled: “Wait for me!”
It was no use, the princess was gone,
Off and went to her castle to sleep,
The frog would wait until the dawn
To visit her and get the benefits that he must reap.
The very next day the princess awoke,
Climbed downstairs to have a meal,
At once she heard a horrible croak,
And at the sight of the frog she did squeal!
“What a vile creature! So slimy and cold!”
She thought to herself as she cried,
“You must keep your promises,” her father did scold,
Instructing her to be the frog’s bride.
She cried and she moaned and she groaned,
Trying to get away from the frog’s requests,
It was to the frog the favor was owned,
And her father refused to digress.
The frog kept pinching and prying and asking for more,
Much to the princess’s dismay,
Soon enough the list began so soar,
Sending the poor princess into disarray.
She grabbed that frog will all her might,
Knowing what she must do,
She refused to put up any more of a fight,
Against the wall the frog flew.
I changed the ending of this one because I think it should have just ended with her throwing the frog against the wall and that being the end. I think that’s how the author I’m channeling would have wanted it to be.
I loved the lyrical and rhythmic flow of your post! I also enjoyed your updated ending, it was much more satisfying than the original version. Your ability to maintain a steady pace rhythmically while rhyming made your post easy to understand and enjoyable to read.
The only thing I can think to comment on is the spacing of your post, I think while it flowed well all together, I did get lost in the lines due to their short and equally spaced nature. Maybe adding additional spacing could be an idea, but your post is still great regardless!
I love this flow and style of your poem, reminds me a bit of Dahl. I think the flow, with its sing song-y rhyme scheme, highlighted how young the princess was. I especially like how you cut it off at the end, instead of silencing the princess like the original did, it instead silenced the frog.
I wonder if the different rhyme scheme (aabb vs abab) for the first 4 lines was intentional? I also agree with Zoe and would love to see some more spacing so my eyes don’t wander why reading it.
II agree with both of the previous comments made by both Dylan and Zoë. I also love the flow and how your story reads. I think that the conclusion of your version with the frog being thrown at the wall makes sense in the context of the rhyme scheme you used, and makes for an interesting abrupt ending. Overall nice work!
I really enjoyed reading this post because of the rhyme scheme and I really liked how you created a nice and rythmic pace that it easy to follow and understand.
I really liked your post, Julia! It just has such a fun, whimsical vibe that reminds me of the Roald Dahl poems. In light of our assignment to do a short close reading of people’s blog posts, I decided to include this in my comment:
“A young princess lost hold of her ball,
This is really no joke at all,
It fell down deep into a well,
Eternal damnation, in darkness it would dwell.”
This last line breaks the rhythm by being quite noticeably longer than the others, with more syllables. This disruption gives it a lurching feeling, like that of a frog leaping. It contributes to the whimsical sense of the unusual events taking place in this story. Carrying on this lurching last line of the stanza would’ve further lent to this frog-leap rhythm; instead, the lines seem to vary in length somewhat at random.
The changes in rhyme scheme also contribute to this. Overall, the poem has a whimsical sing-song vibe, but that changes at certain spots, resulting in an unsteady rhythm. The alternating high and low rhyme sounds — revolving between the “ee” in meal and squeal, the “i” in cried and bride and the “oa” in groaned and owned, the “o” in soar and more, etc. — emulate the sound of a frog croaking. Once again, more consistency with this feature would’ve made this association in the reader’s mind stronger.
I enjoyed reading your post, as the flow and rhyme were really musical in my head. I also liked how you ended the poem and gave the princess agency and power to make her own decisions. The inclusion of the picture at the end of the post was great as well. As for the formatting, there is a verse option for a block of text in the blog post editor which gives you some more control over spacing between lines, which might be useful in the future. Overall, I enjoyed your version of this story!
I like this response to the original frog king. The frog was gross, and the princess is under no obligation to offer sympathy to a man who inspires revulsion. The original story is deconstructive of grossness, and it has its value. But we construct ideas of grossness around frog-like people because it is useful. Maybe, from a perfect philosophical perspective, it is not morally correct to treat someone with as much scorn as shown to the frog. Everything has both sides.
Though it may not be true, the power to say that something is gross is good, even if it does not attempt to approximate the truth. It helps the young girl avoid a dangerous character, which is more useful than that holy truth.
Your story, in conversation with ‘The Frog King,’ complicates the process of deconstruction.