I have always been privileged enough to have a family that supports me in everything I do. From ever since I could remember, my parents would always tell me to make sure that I love whatever I’m doing and if I don’t love it, it won’t be worth it. They never wanted me to become a doctor or nurse or scientist, they just wanted me to be happy in whatever job I have. I’m so lucky and grateful for that. But even though I have the free will to do whatever I please in regards to my occupation, I still care about what my family will think of my occupation. At times, I question whether or not being a humanities major is worth it.
There is this split second of doubt saying “Is this a good idea?” or “Are you going to be letting your family down if you do this?” This split second of doubt only comes up once in a while and I can push it out of my mind, but it always comes back.
I start to question if the lack of money I’ll make in the future will come back to bite me someday. But I just have to take a step back and remind myself of why I’m pursuing a humanities degree. Because I love it. I love the complexity of language and how it can compare to others. I want to help others see and learn that.
I came into college not knowing what I wanted to do. I thought about Psychology and English and then I thought I wanted to be a music therapy major. This got very jumbled and was very overwhelming. I also loved French and knew I wanted to keep speaking it throughout my life. I had everything finally planned by the end of my Freshman year. I wanted to be an English and Education double major with a minor in French and Francophone Studies. Then just when I thought I had it all figured out, I realized that as much as I love English, French was just something I couldn’t pass up either. So now, I am a French and Education double major and an English minor. It’s the best of both worlds. While teaching French, I can compare it to the English language and find the similarities and differences in it. Both are complex languages, but are also similar.
If I wasn’t a humanities major, I don’t think I’d enjoy my career. STEM is just not my thing and I don’t fully enjoy those classes I have. Even if I made more money as an engineer or a doctor, I wouldn’t love it. I wouldn’t find joy in my career and it wouldn’t be worth it to me. I’m lucky that no one in my family pushed me to become a doctor, they are letting me figure out what I want to do and how to go about it. They’ve always wanted the best for me and the best for me is letting me do what I love.
I hope everyone can get the chance to figure out what they love, even if it isn’t their career.
Elizabeth, I definitely feel this a lot. My family has always been wonderful and accepting. In fact, they really encouraged me to do English. However, it’s impossible to escape that nagging feeling that it’s not good enough, even when your family never pressures you to feel that way. There’s definitely a socialization process in the education system that subtly (and sometimes more overtly) pushes you to STEM fields and convinces you that you won’t make money or be successful any other way. My brother is in STEM and I compare myself to him all the time, even though I know I shouldn’t. It’s not all about money, but it’s hard to look away from that when money is a quantifiable thing and enjoyment isn’t as easily quantifiable. But I know in my heart that I made the right decision, and I like how well you captured that feeling in your blog post. I also like how you captured the complicated path to figuring out what’s truly right for you and how it isn’t always an easy linear decision.
1) The formatting of this essay is well done; the blue paragraphs being an internal doubt is a good touch. As a reader, it gave me a deeper understanding of the feelings expressed.
2) The way you described the French major and English minor is straightforward and gives a great understanding of your possible future career.
3) Just as Emily said, I fully understand your doubts and how hard it is to decide how to pick a field of study and possible career. As someone who also wanted to major in music and is passionate about music, I struggled with accepting that I would not find happiness or success in majoring in music. But it’s okay to change your mind, it’s okay to pursue a career related to your undergrad major, and it’s okay to have a career, not within your undergrad major. We need to hold on to the general love of learning and continue to grow as people. We are flexible beings, so much can change in 4 months, 10 months, and 5 years. I’m glad you were able to find passion in French and English.