To set the scene: it’s my graduation party. My best friends are sitting beside me. I’m reading cards packed full with encouragement and well-wishes. There’s optimism and the smell of the cookies I baked in the air.
Aunt: So, what are you majoring in?
Me: English!
Aunt: Don’t do it. I went that kind of route, and I’ve never once used my degree. What good did that do me?
I suppose you’re right, Aunt Karen. You don’t use your degree!
You don’t think critically when you read the news. You don’t think about what the author’s goal is. You don’t think about your own bias. Do you even think about what you’re reading?
You don’t, do you? You don’t consider what each term conjures in your mind. Every single word, all of it, building a tower of hate for you to sit up in and look out at everyone else and say, I’m not biased, I gave you a fair chance. You’re just wrong.
Those English classes. What a waste of time, eh? All they do is sit there and talk about why the curtains are blue, why the author chose this word over that. Symbolism, or whatever. What’s the use? Do something practical with your life, something you’ll actually use every day.
You don’t wonder how your news station chooses which stories to cover. You don’t spend a wink of time wondering why a story might be very convenient for someone to write about, while another isn’t. You don’t trust any other news sources.
Liberal arts schools are an indoctrination scheme. They don’t teach you both sides.
You don’t believe people should read different viewpoints. You don’t object to banning books about queer identities, or colonialism, or the literal history of this country. You don’t think children should learn these things about the world. You don’t see the parallels, you don’t think about what tends to happen when governments start banning books.
All you do is sit and read books all day. When are you going to learn something about the real world?
You’re completely right, Aunt Karen. You absolutely don’t use your degree.
But I will.
I really enjoyed reading this post! I liked the way you used “don’t” throughout, throwing your aunt’s words back in her face while highlighting the many great skills English majors learn. The repetition is strong and portrays the frustration these questions often make us English majors feel. I also liked the ending. The simple sentence structure and the spacing is really strong, emphasizing the theme of your post really well.
I really liked your tone! It reflected one of those sarcastic conversations you have in your head but don’t dare say aloud. I liked your repetition of “you don’t” and the simple ending of “But I will”. It’s very witty. On another note, personally the red boxes were a little blinding for me, but it certainly made your aunt’s responses stand out, and made it seem like you were almost seeing red at her comments. Nice Job!
I really liked the structure of your post and how you differentiated between your inner thought and your aunt’s comments by putting her comments in red boxes, which I saw as being angry at her comment. You also did a really good job of portraying the frustration that you felt from your aunts comments and using her own comments against her to portray how you feel about the comments.
Your post is extremely relatable. I too have multiple “Karen” uncles and aunts. Your tone really conveys frustration and anger. It is especially infuriating when the person in question is family, so you can never truly express how you feel. I think you did a great job showing these emotions through little things like the red blocks and italics of certain words.
I’m trapped, and I can’t speak. This incomplete, unhappy woman is letting out her grievances with the world, forcing everyone around her to share her misery, and antagonizing me in particular.
There is a lot to read into with this piece, and the more I dig into it, the more I like it.
First, the thought text is not healthy. It is toxic and cruel. You have the wisdom not to give them form, though the struggle and pain are evident through the repetition.
I also find it interesting that the claims you make with your ‘don’t’ do not differ so much from what she says. Many of the things you say merely turn the mirror to the spurious claims that she makes.
You compare Karen’s attitude to the following: “I’m not biased, I gave you a fair chance. You’re just wrong.” Is this not the thesis of the thoughts which you conjure through the rest of the piece? Your opposition necessitates conversation, and it is clear you have a lot to say to each other. There is discourse that you are, ironically, not having. I am not saying you should, given the jovial atmosphere established at the start. Though the subject matter of this piece, from a psychoanalytic perspective, represents the displaced desire to engage in conversation, justifying your choices and condemning hers.
You achieve victory in that conversation by writing this piece, not only getting in the last word but also controlling the arguments that your opponent is willing to present. You are the Author-God and reality is your decision.
This aunt does not earn my sympathy. She selfishly defies social grace to try to have that conversation. Her goals differ from yours. She seems to want to claim some sort of authority. Aunt Karen’s unused English Degree represents a well of regret and a loss of control. Her dreams died long ago. She technically uses her English degree, as a conversational prybar to wrestle authority over you and the rest of the table. Coupled with your silence, Aunt Karen’s certainty and experience give her a vapid aura of righteousness and volition.
Beautiful piece. You made me think.
Hi Emily, I thought that this was a wonderful deconstruction of the value of a liberal arts education. There were a lot of things I thought worked super well. First, the bright red of the color blocks was very engaging. I also thought that your repetition and italicization of “don’t” emphasized your point very well.
The frequent occurrence of “you don’t” is both ironic and a powerful way to defend English and literature, together with the big picture at the end gives a strong sense of impact (both visually and ideologically), and I believe many people who are prejudiced against literature will reflect on themselves after reading this short conversation of yours.