There she was, walking down the hallway like a goddess, with eyes as green as a jade and a body that was beautiful and lithe; her skin was milky white and she had shoulder length black hair. She was the most popular girl in school, Briar Rose, and I was madly in love with her at first sight. I have been consulting my horoscope and visiting a fortuneteller everyday to find someway to be closer to her and the day finally came when we were put in Class 4 together for History. I now sat next to her in the back of the class and used every chance I got to steal a glance at her. Everyday she would settle into her desk like she belonged there and that she would be in that desk for years to come and would sit through the class with an attentive gaze fixed on the board. But one day, during a long lecture in class, I looked over to see Brair Rose fast asleep at her desk. She sat in her desk unmoving and oblivious to the world around her in a deep sleep and I was mesmerized by her beauty once more and surprised that she could sleep through the chaotic debates and discussion that were taking place in class. I stared at her for the longest time appreciating her beauty and grace, thinking of the future that we could have together and wishing that this moment would never end. As the end of class was approaching, I contemplated the idea of waking her up to see her reation, even if she was angry, in order to learn more about the love of my life but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. If only I had been born a Taurus! Finally the end of class arrived and when the ball rang, Brair Rose woke up and began to methodically pack up her stuff like nothing had even happened. As she was leaving I wispered, “Stay safe, Brair Rose, untill we meet again.”
Happily Ever After
Or, Literary Theory and the Fairy Tale Genre
This piece reminded me of “Sleeping Beauty and the Airplane” with its first person perspective, emphasis on haunting and beautiful descriptions of a female figure, and its plot. You also did really well on capturing the creepy and longing mood, especially when delving into the narrator’s thoughts in instances like “thinking of the future that we could have together”. Was there a reason for changing it to a classroom setting? What is the emphasis on 4? If you were to expand on this piece I would love to see how you portray the other characters of Sleeping Beauty like Márquez did.
I agree with Dylan, this piece reminded me of “Sleeping Beauty and the Airplane” as well! I think you did a great job channeling it, I did not feel confused on your intentions or the inspiration you took, and you matched the unsettling energy of the piece well! I would have loved to see you expand this even more, as I thought your twist on the story worked very well.
You may not believe this, but I also thought of Marquez’s Sleeping Beauty and the Airplane before reading the comments of the two previous students. You have created a powerful sense of absurdity with your brief words, and this Sleeping Beauty is just as powerful and charismatic as Sleeping Beauty by Marquez. If you’re prepared to expand it into a longer story, I think more description of the narrator’s thoughts while she’s asleep might be the way to go.
As all the other comments are saying, your story definitely reminds me of the Sleeping Beauty and the Airplane. Both Marquez’s and your story creep me out from the perspective of a woman. The thought of being watched makes my stomach turn. It gives off the feeling of a “nice guy” with sinister undertones. Great work evoking emotions!
To echo what everyone has said, I thought of the Sleeping Beauty and the Airplane. You portrayed the emotional undertone of the original piece really well in this version. I definitely felt the same weird, creeped out feeling reading this as I did when I read the original. I would love to see an expansion on the inner thoughts of the guy watching her if you were to write a longer version. Overall, this was really well done!
This of course reminded me of Sleeping Beauty and the Airplane, as everyone else has pointed out. You did a really good job making the audience uncomfortable, and I really liked the weird superstitious angle you took with the narrator. Visiting a fortune teller every day to find a way to get closer to a romantic interest felt strangely real, and that made this piece even more effective. I could definitely see some person doing this, and the realistic way this creep was written was very unsettling.
As everyone pointed out, this was a great take of Sleeping Beauty and the Airplane. I knew from the first sentence what author you were mirroring and you did a great job with this. I felt like the way the sentences flowed together made this piece really enjoyable to read. You also did a really good job at creeping me out with this. Like Sleeping Beauty and the Airplane, this was just unsettling to me and I love and hate how it made me feel. You did a great job with this and I think you could continue on with this even more if you wanted to!